Mamma Bear Syndrome

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Nothing fazed me At 1 point in my Life. The world will burn and I would somehow salvage myself and be OK. People on the street  act like idiots and nothing bother me nothing anybody could do could touch me.
Of course growing up in the hood I learned to defend myself always especially when you live in a city with a lot of chaos, And a bunch of madness you learn to adapt. You learn to ignore certain things and just carry on.
But once I had my 1st child it was almost like a demon possessed my soul. No one can say anything bout about her no 1 can harm her in any way. All I wanted to do was to protect her to stand by her side hawk her all day all night and make sure she’s OK.
Those 1st school years were tough bullies, tears rejection all that I wanted to just fix on my own but the best thing that I could do was let her figure it out so she can learn.
Whenever anyone messed with her this ferocious non stop of a beast of a mother came out in me. I noticed other moms are calm and they let stuff just roll over their shoulder when someone messes with their kid. To this day I still don’t understand how?
And I let her learn her own lessons she’s inde independent and fends for herself. But when she’s not in my presence and it’s something involving her that I have to fight for her I come out of this shell, And I am awaken like someone waking a dragon from a long sleep. And I feel like I get this Newly found energy from deep within my soul to just keep fighting for  , protecting her now and always.

Is this because I’m a single mother? I don’t hear about papa bear syndrome.
And I love mama bear’s. I love with these dine for I love that they love their children with a love beyond love and protection and admiration.
My children are the loves of my life and I live for them and I have diagnosed myself with …mama bear syndrome. And I don’t need any medication for this, I’m good

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BUTTERFLIES

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Anticipation…the want…the wait

Knowing I will see you like it’s our first date
The comfort, the smile..the feeling that’s right
The conversations, the vibe..
The long slow sweet kiss goodnight

How i dont want that feeling to disappear…not knowing what is near

The excitement, the heat, the feeling of wonder happening to me

Longing to deserve this ..only a long awaited prince for me now

After I’ve kissed a few toads and laughed at so many lies

I will live in this moment..just him, me and these butterflies

THREATS OF SCHOOL SHOOTER!!!!!

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It has become all too much commonly heard.

A lot of people saying this happens in the world parts of the country but no, this is New York City.
You don’t hear about this in New York City but here it is!!

And for some reason it’s being kept so quiet

Lockdown drills and safety protocols are a day-to-day conversation that schools must have along with regular curriculum.

We have all remembered Colombine,Sandy Hook, Florida massacres along with many others. We will ever forget!

Last week was a school shooter threatened my children’s school.

Some kid in the school posted on social media that he was going to schoolkids in the school.

The school sent out a very vague email to parents informing parents that they are aware that children are texting their parents and the school has things under control in their following regular protocol.

I had no idea as to what was going on because I didn’t receive a text from my child just yet.

When I did communicate with my children they did tell me as to what was going on and they were very scared.

I Franticly raced to the school from my job that is an hour away commute. I actually got to the school within 22 minutes. I guess I can expect some red light tickets in the mail.

The line of the school wrapped around the corner with parents waiting to pick up their children.

My children kept texting me and asking me to please pick them up.

I don’t think I have ever been that scared in my entire life.

Not knowing any answers -if the school shooter is inside the school did they get this person? What’s going on? Are you safe? Is there a lock down drill?

When I called the school the phone just rang no answer.

After speaking with a few other parents I’ve learned experienced the same.

The process in order to pick up my child was a disgrace they need to come up with a better crisis system.
The bigger disgrace is that there was not a lock down drill on that day.

The school wasn’t 100% sure who this person was and if they had any guns in the school. I feel like they don’t take this seriously.

I finally picked up , hugged them as tight as I can.

Not only was this handled poorly by the school but now my children are in fear of the shooter because he is under 18 years old and he is still in the school receiving his education when my children were absent in fear.

Police say that this is under investigation. I don’t feel settled at all with these answers that we received from the school or from the police.

How is it possible for this kid to be allowed in the school?

The school is following these protocols and these procedures by Law.. but this is when things happen when there’s no action immediately by law forces, by principles ,by teachers this needs to be resolved now.

We need to pray every single day for the safety of all of our children all across the country all across the world going to school this is a sad sad sick societee that we live in now.

If anyone out there has information on how to proceed in a better way with this situation please feel free to write me
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Please leave your thoughts your comments any suggestions your feelings Please leave your comments in the comment section

YOUR HUSBAND CHEATED ON YOU, So now what?

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And then They lived happily ever after… the End.

Well there’s a lot more after that then just the white horses and the beautiful white dress. Marriage is Rarely a happily ever after.

You make mad passionate love, you kiss him good bye in the morning, you go about your day thinking of him texting him calling him. And you know what’s weird??…hes also reciprocating this to you.

You go home you talk about your day you eat you want a little TV or you go out and you do something fun.

You wake up the next morning you get ready for work, kiss him good-bye, he goes about his day you go about your day and then the next day is the same and the day after that ..it’s the same you develop a routine. Wash rinse ,lather.. repeat.

But You guys are still in love and you’re married so everything is gonna be OK you’re planning a family or maybe already have a family. So life is what it is and you know what?? It’s great!!! this is the person that you’re going to grow old with.

You are going to buy the big beautiful house in the suburbs. You’re gonna get a dog ,you gonna go on these vacations together that everybody’s going to envy and you can put it on Facebook too.

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Everything is so magnificent until one day you find out… Hes having an affair on you.

Your whole entire being, your whole world everything that you have lived for was him. You’re beautiful wedding that you spent a pretty penny on… all the preparation everything. The house, the kisses, the car ,”the I love you’s”.
what about all of that????

Your world comes crashing down ,you don’t care about anything else and you just can’t believe that this person that you have given your soul to has betrayed you in such a way.

At 1st maybe you want to hear every last detail of the disgustingness that has occurred. It’s not a good idea to do that because honestly that will never leave your head.

Probably the 2nd thing you want to do is get far away from him and make him show you that he wants you and only ..you some kind of competition.

But let’s be real, Do You stay married to this man? A man who has defied you in such a way that is extremely hard to ever come back from?

Unless you really don’t care about sharing bodies.

This gets a lot more complicated when you guys have children together. A lot of women stay just because of the children and this decision is based solely upon the children.

Do you learn to live with this and pretend it never happened? Do you earn back the relationship and let him earn back his trust? Do you get your vengeance on him?

Or do you leave? Do you leave it all and walk away. After all, he already has walked away on you by cheating.
Do you give it one more time 1 more try to see if he won’t do it again?

This is the hardest thing to go through in a relationship other than being sick.

I must say ,its a wonderful feeling to lay my head down at night and not worry that I’m being cheated on !!

If you remain in a relationship with a someone that has already cheated on you, how can your mind really honestly rest and know that he will never do this to you again? There is always that slight possibility that he will.

So what is the decision that you will make?

Is he really worth all that you have?

At what age do we allow our children to start dating?

My mother Was extremely overbearing And Extremely ridiculous ad being over protective when it came to me even being around boys.

It was so sad that when finally I was able to be old enough and be around boys I didn’t even know how to Interact with boys.

It’s important that you child has friends of the opposite sex.

Nowadays there’s not just 1 or 2 kind of sex so I guess its important for everyone of every sex to be friends to know how to interact with one another because that’s the normalcy in today’s world.

My mother was so strict and she didn’t want me around any boys she didn’t want me to have a boyfriend. I was about 20 years old when I had my 1st real boyfriend. I introduced to my mother and when out on dates with. He was the one that I married because my mother believed from her old customs that you marry the 1 that you’re with period …of course I had boyfriends before that but I couldn’t tell my mother because she wasn’t the kind of person you would speak to ,she wasn’t at all understanding.

Now that I’m a mother I try as hard as I can to have that understanding between me and my children. Its very hard when it comes to when you will allow your child to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. And how do we exactly know when the time is right?

It all depends on the maturity level of that child for me ,I think anything below 15 is an absolute no.!!But there are people who allow their 14 year olds today and they allow their 14 year olds to even have sex. I can’t judge these parents because in one way these kids are gonna do it whether or not parents allow it. Hormones are hormones we were all that age at 1 point in our lives

As for me I always thought that when my daughter was a senior in high school I would let her date very innocently to the movies and things like that . I didn’t picture her at all having a boyfriend. Now that she’s 16 and she has someone that she really likes who’s an amazing kid my views have changed.

So I really do believe that all depends on the circumstance the situation ,what we teach our children and how the significant other personality really is .

I don’t agree with anyone below 17 having sex but that is me I’m very old school .I know call me close minded but I think it’s so early and I think they have so much of a life to look forward to and they have plenty of time to have sex but as I said before hormones hormones and yes I do understand it not that I agree with it but it’s gonna happen if it’s gonna happen it’s gonna happen!!!!!

A decent age to have a boyfriend that you can hang out with and typically technically call your boyfriend? For me although I don’t like putting a number on it and I still kind of think that 16 is a bit young I would say on average 16 would be an acceptable age to have the boyfriend or girlfriend.

What do you think would be a good age? What do you think would be a good determination on whether or not your teenager should even have a boyfriend or girlfriend?

What we need to do as parents is be parents 1st -friends 2nd and make sure that we know their whereabouts and we know who they’re hanging out with what they’re doing .we have to build that trust. We have to build a strong independent honest loyal good child and all the rest will follow in its place. We have to teach them to make wise choices.

Did I mention communication???

I don’t know if I could win mother of the year but I’m trying just as hard as the next mom is trying to keep her child safe ,loved and protected.
I feel very alone in this I don’t know many teenage moms and I would love to hear your opinions and what you think .
Should and being the right time for a teenager to begin dating.

Long Distance love

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Does this exist? Is it possible to a relationship with someone who lives in another state? What about overseas in another country?

I’m sure it’s possible but is it something that you really would put your heart into?

Being with someone in a long distance relationship involves a lot of planning, a lot of your time spent devoted to paperwork and traveling and also a lot of money.

Eventually you will have to come to some common ground on where you want to reside to eventually be together. Because that’s the over all goal at a relationship, right? To grow old together. Maybe even marry and have a child? That’s not everyone’s goal and if it’s not that’s OK.

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If you’re devoted and this is what you want to do by all means don’t listen to anyone in the world. People always have their 2 cents to put in!

My mother would say ” Amores de lejos es amores de pendejos” Which basically means if you have a long distance relationship you’re an idiot.

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But if you really love that person especially nowadays with Skype and so much technology to keep in touch and see to other you could have that relationship that you want with anyone in any part of the world.
Out of sight out of mind? All that’s another thing to put in to consideration.

A lot of people these days are finding love in places all around the world. When you find love no matter where it is no matter what color the matter what height no matter the finances I think that love is a rare find.
I’m sure that natural normal loving jealous tick can Come and go. It’s a natural human feeling to be delis. But when your love is a way it’s hard not to be jealous or not to think that something can possibly in that small percentage of a possibly can actually be going on.
The bottom line of any relationship is trust without trust you don’t have anything.
Are any of you in long distance relationships? Have you been in Long distance relationships ?
If you have I would love to hear your story .
How did it Turn out? how did you make it work?
Was it worth it? Would you advise someone to go for it?
I Believe that if you love someone you should go for it!!!

The Savage Senseless Murder of 15 Year Old Lesandro Guzman Feliz- Junior

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This is Unimaginable heartbreak.

More than all too often we hear about senseless crimes in our New York City streets.

The despair of mothers losing their children has become sadly common in this unfortunate sleepless city.
Gangs,Petty fights, among other crimes lead to Innocent bystanders becoming victims of violence.

How many times has a stray bullet killed an innocent person?…a child?

I’m sure by now everyone knows the Story of Lesandro Guzman Feliz. Everyone knew him as Junior.

An innocent beautiful child who was brutally murdered for no reason and taken away from his Mother before his time.

This summer 15 year old Junior, who normally was at home enjoying family company and playing video Games decided to meet a Friend on a warm summer night just like any other teenager.

His mom was very protective of Junior she wanted him home right away. He told her not to worry and that he would be right back. He told her he would be in the area and won’t be long

Never could anyone fathom what would become of a simple walk in his own neighborhood.

A friend he usually hung out with asked him for some money for food. His mother gave Junior $5 to go downstairs and give to the boy for food. Junior met with his friend and like any other 15 year old he wanted just to hang out and talk for a Bit.

On the that night a parent’s worst nightmare occurred.Junior was chased by gang members who suspected he was in a rival gang. These gang members chased him for blocks on end. Junior ran inside a well known Bodega that he had frequented since he was a little boy with his Mother.

He ran Inside and desperately hopped over the counter in order to hide from his attackers.In an instant reaction the store owner at 1st pushed him away. According to all of the camera footage it appears that Junior hid for only a second till the gang members entered the store and found him. They argued inside the store for a few brief seconds and then the unimaginable happened.

What I’m about to explain to you right now will not be very detailed at all. This heinous act was all caught on video. I would not recommend for anyone to watch this because it’s so disturbing. Unfortunately a coworker Showed this to me and I was unable to ever get this out of my head.

The gang members dragged Junior outside the store, Junior desperately trying to cling on to whatever he could to not be dragged out. Dragged outside, where he was then attacked by at least 7 other gang members with knives and machetes. The gang members attacked him viciously with these weapons repeatedly.
He was then sliced in his throat and pushed Back inside of the Bodega on a 183rd street and Bathgate Avenue in The Bronx.

Junior, in the store obvious desperation for help. His blood from his wounds from all over his body on to the bodega counter.The store owner And the store employees then pointed outside the door. Later on they said they were pointing towards the hospital. But no one accompanied Junior to the hospital that was a block away? The store employees allowed Junior to leave alone, they actually instructed him, a 15 year old child to go.

Debates on whether or not the store owner even called 911 are still unknown.

This is all on the video. Junior is shown running across the street after he is brutally attacked, up the block towards the hospital where he reaches the front of hospital and collapses.

Oddly enough,as he crosses third Avenue, an ambulance is waiting at the light as he passes in front of them.
He passed away in the hospital.

It was later discovered that he was senselessly murdered in a case of mistaken identity.

The violence in New York City is completely out of hand. Politicians are not doing anything to get gang members of the streets or to create safe havens for the youth.
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I did not know Junior nor his family, however his story has stuck with me and repeated in my head so many times. This is so sad especially being that I grew up in that area and I know all too well what the violence there is like.

I think now in this day and age it has gotten even worse.

All of the 14 adult Suspects who were involved in Juniors murder have been arrested and are awaiting trial.
His mother is so soft spoken and strong, my heart goes out to her.
I really hope that there is Justice for Junior.

Junior was a great student and a member of the NYPD police cadets for the youth. He wanted to be a detective when he grew up.He was never in a gang of any sort. This was complete mistaken identity.

I don’t usually write about current events although I do love writing about everything and anything but this story just touched me so much and I’m sure it’s touched hundreds of thousands of people not only in the community but across the World.

Lesandro Would have turned 16 on November 11th 2018.

Hopefully safe havens are created where children in these neighborhoods can go to to spend time and be mentored.downloadfile