DATING AFTER 40

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Which one of you has not made any Mistakes in the last Decade?
Perhaps you married your mistake and then years down-the-line realized that it was a major regret?

Some people arent even married a year ,ready to Call it quits.
Time goes by the days the years and before you know it…. you’re 40 your single… and back available on the dating scene.

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All the jokes you told in your 20’s about 40 year olds and their cats being home alone on Friday nights are looking all too realistic right now.

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If you have children they’re getting older they’re hanging out with their friends and doing their own thing.
If you have friends some of them are married some of them are divorced and the rare wonderful fun few are single and you see how they’re living their lives and having a great time . Going out and having fun .THAT becomes a little harder when you are a single parent but it is possible with the right preparation , The spontaneous impulses can’t really be there.

Is it really that bad starting fresh and dating at 40?

There’s plenty of people after 40 years old who are newly dating. AND probly having the most fun may have in years by doing so!

I give credit to those of you who stuck through their marriages through hard times and bad,the cheating ,whatever it was that made it work. Some marriages are strong and there some people who just stay for the kids or stay because they want to prove they can say with somebody for 20 plus years. Then there are the people who are actually happy in the marriages and much kudos to you guys!!!

40 is the new 30, it’s not like what it used to be in the 80’s when you were 40 ,you were going on 65 years old.

Everything’s done online the dating sites- meeting people , which for me can make it a bit challenging because I like their face-to-face contact but we’re living in a new era ,a new world.

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At 40 people are ” supposedly” more mature and they have a good idea about how they want to live their lives what they want to do and who they are.
Dating after 40 can be an adventure, go for it!!!

And let us know if you are dating and can make any dating site recommendations.

I’d love to hear your experience of dating after 40!

The Absence of Love

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Everyone has been hurt by a love. It Doesn’t matter how beautiful you are inside or out. It doesn’t matter how much you have done for that person. Some people hurt others in loving relationships maliciously while others hurt because that’s all they know and it comes as 2nd nature.

Can someone who has been hurt ever be the same when it comes to loving again?
What if that same person who has been hurt by a love also grew up hurt by their parents.
It’s a psychological spiral and trying to figure out where we go wrong in love and a what point of our Childhoods where we affected in order to love the way we love as adults?
What if we never felt Loved as a child ? What if we felt that our parents never loved Us?
What if we grew up in a household with no affection never a hug never positive encouragement?
What if we grew up with the absence of love?

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Is it possible as adults to learn to love without ever experiencing it as a child?
Whatever it was whatever way I grew up all I know is that I hug my children everyday And I tell them that I love them. It’s an automatic as soon as they come home from school as soon as they leave to school we tell each other we love each other we hug and that is a second nature.
We hug when we watch movies we hug when good things happen we hug when badd things happen. We show affection we express ourselves and our little family we feel love.
I have an unconditional undying love for my children and right now I feel as though this is the only love I need in my life.
Although there are other people in my life that I do love I feel as though I’m very protective of myself and perhaps it is the way I grew up.
I don’t wanna be hurt by love. And I don’t wanna hurt anyone return.
I don’t know exactly what will happen in a few years regarding my feelings towards love.
I know that I’m capable of itJust like many other people out there are capable of it and may be afraid of it?
We all have the love of God and his angels protecting us at all times. I am a strong believer in a higher power.
I do know I don’t wanna be in the absence of love
After all isn’t this what everyone is looking for?

My son remembered the day he was born

If anyone else had told me this I wouldn’t believe it. I would think that an adult told the kid to say this and I would just laugh.
But this is some crazy stuff that my very own son at 2 years old repeated to me.
We Were down in Chinatown parked on a busy street. I was in the passenger side and my son was in the back buckled in his car seat.
He was 2 years old he always love to talk and sing, he was always an over all happy baby and hes a happy child now.
What came out of his mouth that day still to this day just has the hairs on my arms standing up.

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He told me that he remembers swimming in the water where it was so more and everything was nice and then one day the water was disappearing and he felt like he was drowning but then he saw a light and the light was so pretty so he was swimming towards the light and he said it was really hard to get help out of the opening but finally he came out and he saw me.
Was this really has 1st memory?

In my life ,this is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard .

I’ve always felt like my babies or crystal Children. They are part of the Indigo babies.
Now I truly believe that the babies to hold that memory of the day they are born.

Don’t cry tonight

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Don’t cry tonight… It’s dark ..its late it’s cold I’m tired. The day has been so long. And now I sit here all alone and wondering of the ¬†Should of,could ¬†Ofs..when is this all too late.

I need to keep doing the right things and just swim myself away from the wrong things, I’m overwhelmed I’m weary And I’m not done with bath time checking homework and preparing for the next day.

I wanna cry tonight but really I just don’t have the time to do it

 

Losing my Halloween spirit

20181005_194556Not obligated to buy presents no need to listen to family bickering over an enormous amount of food that you be eating for the next week.

Halloween has always been my favorite holiday .You can dress up and be anything that you want to be .That character for the day and everyone around you is somebody else dressed up as somebody else.

I always looked forward to it, getting costumes for the kids taking them trick or treating until they could barely walk anymore than giving away all that candy to others. It was so much fun.

The goblins ,the witches, the superheroes, the princesses,The costumes I couldn’t figure out. The laughter and the entire magical mysteriousness of Halloween I just loved it.

Now that my daughter is 16 years old she still going Trick or Treating and I went with her last year and my 10 year old son. But now they’re going with their group of friends and why would they want me trailing behind them?
I even asked a friend to borrow her kids but she had other plans. Maybe I’m just going to this thing where the kids are getting bigger and something as simple as taking them trick or treating has ended because of their ages. They’re still going I just think I need to give them their space and let them go in their group of friends without an adult trailing behind them. And it’s just here in the neighborhood and it’s a big group. I’m hoping that I can change my own mind and tell myself they still need me to trail behind them because anything can happen on Halloween. I’m hoping that later on I can throw on one of my masks and get outside because I do love Halloween and I don’t want to lose that love for Halloween.

I don’t know what do you want for dinner..?

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The million dollar question. Why isn’t there ever a concrete answer to this???

Especially if you’re asking your significant other it just spins inside of a endless realm.

I used to make something similar to an all you can eat buffet because of my picky little eaters. If they didn’t want what I made for dinner I want me sure to make them whatever it was they wanted because I wanted them to eat something.

Little did I know I was such a punk!!!

Now, that they are a little bit older and my son is 11, my daughter 16 and if a
I make something And they don’t want to eat it then my words of wisdom to them are “oh well then starve”.
The question is no longer what do you want for dinner on my end it’s this is what I’m Making for dinner you either eat or you starve.

The end of the world::Divorce

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It’s like mourning a death. You’re with someone all these years sharing your life sharing your deepest love everything your life your kids your money or house what’s yours is his was his as yours. It’s crazy how life can change from one day to the next. It’s crazy how life can change gradually and not even notice. When I was going through a divorce I thought I was going to die I thought my world was coming to an end at once how my supposed to do this
All by myself? I thought I’ve been with this man for over 11 years and we have 2 children together the this is not the what happens to me?

So here it is the end of my world what do I do?

I kept going I surpassed at work a bettered myself I took care of the kids he didn’t bother to come around after the divorce much till he eventually completely stopped seeing them. yes, I became a single mother over night I prayed more I prayed harder . I learned to never judge anyone. God can give you so much the same way God can take it all away. I went through this in 2009 Almost 10 years ago. Looking back the 1st 2 years were very hard. Especially since he walked away from a three-year-old and a 7 year old. He left us with our apartment in foreclosure he left me with $200 in the bank and an empty refrigerator.
By the grace of God I made life work. I didn’t have any time to really cry over it I had to wake up I had a go to work I had to take the kids to school I had to give them baths ,feed them, teach them so and there was very little time to look back on everything and be sad about it I had to keep going or would fall apart.
I adjusted to my new life after a while. I found a life without him. I kept the kids super busy in all kinds of activities with all kinds of friends all kinds of family and never left their sides.

Ladies and gentlemen divorce is not the end of the world it is the beginning of a new life a better life …a happier one

The life of a single mother

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Drop the kids off at school, Nascar to work, Do double the work In a crunch time forget about taking lunch just swallow something at your desk. It’s almost time to get the kids hurry up you don’t want them in the late Room. I have to keep the job I have to pay the bills I’m a single mother no ones donating money to me. The very little amount their biological father gives barely feeds them. The life that I balance is a life with my children, school functions ,parent teacher night homework cooking cleaning that’s my life plus a 40 hour week job.
How do single moms do it? Obviously we don’t all have the money to pay for child care. Balancing all this is just a mental ability that a woman needs to possess to not drive yourself crazy because this could make you crazy. Time for going out with friends hanging out for me? When? I’m lucky if I see my friends every couple of months. I’m tired all the time I’m budgeted all the time. I’m trying to get through homework and make sure I have enough for the bills for next month. Single mothers don’t have that luxury of having a partner in saying” here you go here’s half of the rent let me cook you dinner let me do laundry tonight.’ A single mother Is a one woman army. How do you balance having a life?
You make your kids your life. When they get older maybe you can date. If you have a better solution I would love to hear it from you. Because Yes I want to go on girl trips with my girlfriends I wanna hang out at least just once a month so I don’t lose my mind.
BUT don’t mistake what I’m saying I love doing things with my kids but I’m surprised my friends have stuck with me this far because I can’t always see them and go out with them I can’t travel with them I couldn’t even attend one of my best friends weddings in California because of child care because of money reasons. So how am I balancing it? I’m just doing what I have to do in making sure that the kids are always good and that is my life that’s the life of a single mother Who always puts her children 1st.

Sleepless Nights

As much as we protect them coddle them bundle them upit bound to happen… they get SICK ..all the time and for some crazy reason we think it’s our fault?
I’ve been Up for several days I’m lacking so much sleep my 11 year old son had fever last week and that’s gone but the lingering cough that lasts all night long has been happening for about a Week. Of course I took him to the urgent care center and the doctors gave him motrin and some cough medicine along with other medications but it’s just one of those natural coughs that need to go away on its own. I’m losing track of the days I am going to work sometimes I don’t even know where I am because I’m so tired. My chicken soup Is Usually the cure to everything but I’ve been so tired that I could Not even make it I’ve been sick myself and I rarely get sick.
It’s not the greatest feeling when you’re a single mother on your own and the kids are sick and you’re up throughout the night and in the back of your head you want to take the baby to the emergency Room you want the cough to go away even try some deep meditation where you could transport his cough into your body that really doesn’t work much. At times like this I wish that their father at least participated in co-parenting with me but he doesn’t want to be involved at all in his children’s lives i will wight about that some other day. Single moms don’t have that person to ask in the middle of the night” what do you think I should do about this next what should we do we a team we help”. Single moms Have to make decisions instantly on their own. There are times I become so frustrated and at times I don’t know what’s the best thing to do all I can do is the best that I can do.
At times im crying at Times I feel alone but there’s nothing more in the world I love that my children so it’s all worth it.
To all you single mothers out there who are going through this you are doing an amazing job you’re doing the job of 2 people in one body. Let’s not stop and think about it to much lets just keep on doing what we gotta do.
Single moms are superheroes

The” TERRIBLE TEENS”

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OK ,so some of us already went through those “Terrible Two’s”. The toddler years the tension ,throwing themselves in the streets crying while us moms looking around in pure embarrassment. You know what I’m talking about!!
When you just can’t wait For those God-Awful temper tantrums to end. You can’t wait till they hurry up and grow up and get out of this stage. Trust me when they turn into teenagers you going to miss those terrible two’s, you’re going to wish that you were in the middle of the street with them asking them to get up off the floor once you experience the “Terrible Teens”.
I wanted my babies to stop their temper tantrums, but now the teenage years with the eye rolling ,the teeth sucking , the constant worry about the opposite sex , college,peer pressure and the over all never ending hormonal crisis.

It’s not easy raising a teenager as a single mother. You’re on your own as a single parent there’s no way that you can look over your shoulder for help. No one to help side with you when you’re trying to get a message across to your teen. There is noone there for me to play good cop bad cop.. I have to be a combination of them both almost making me look like I have a schizophrenia bipolar crazy personality by being these 2 people,nice one minute and just mean the next.

Being a single mom has got to be one of the most difficult things on Earth to do. I cried so many nights so many days on my way to work at work at home walking in the street in the supermarket just couldn’t hold back tears just thinking of my stress and how unfair that their deadbeat dad just dismissed his responsibilities. I have to do everything all alone all the time.

And now teen years in the process I am living in constant edge. I don’t want my kids to choose the wrong path and automatically think any little mistake that they make people will say it’s because they’re from the household of a single mom. I don’t want that stigma on them and all of them to be a statistic so I try super hard and I’m always tired because it to too much and just always feel so weary and nothing is ever enough.
They are good kids ,I don’t have much to complain about . I guess in some weird way I am doing it all alone in its turning out really well.
Sometimes a single moms we feel judged and inferior and we feel as though our kids are being frowned upon. Just know that you’re not the only one feeling like that more than likely,It’s not the case of what is actually really going on.
Single moms are superheroes and we can do anything.