At what age do we allow our children to start dating?

My mother Was extremely overbearing And Extremely ridiculous ad being over protective when it came to me even being around boys.

It was so sad that when finally I was able to be old enough and be around boys I didn’t even know how to Interact with boys.

It’s important that you child has friends of the opposite sex.

Nowadays there’s not just 1 or 2 kind of sex so I guess its important for everyone of every sex to be friends to know how to interact with one another because that’s the normalcy in today’s world.

My mother was so strict and she didn’t want me around any boys she didn’t want me to have a boyfriend. I was about 20 years old when I had my 1st real boyfriend. I introduced to my mother and when out on dates with. He was the one that I married because my mother believed from her old customs that you marry the 1 that you’re with period …of course I had boyfriends before that but I couldn’t tell my mother because she wasn’t the kind of person you would speak to ,she wasn’t at all understanding.

Now that I’m a mother I try as hard as I can to have that understanding between me and my children. Its very hard when it comes to when you will allow your child to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. And how do we exactly know when the time is right?

It all depends on the maturity level of that child for me ,I think anything below 15 is an absolute no.!!But there are people who allow their 14 year olds today and they allow their 14 year olds to even have sex. I can’t judge these parents because in one way these kids are gonna do it whether or not parents allow it. Hormones are hormones we were all that age at 1 point in our lives

As for me I always thought that when my daughter was a senior in high school I would let her date very innocently to the movies and things like that . I didn’t picture her at all having a boyfriend. Now that she’s 16 and she has someone that she really likes who’s an amazing kid my views have changed.

So I really do believe that all depends on the circumstance the situation ,what we teach our children and how the significant other personality really is .

I don’t agree with anyone below 17 having sex but that is me I’m very old school .I know call me close minded but I think it’s so early and I think they have so much of a life to look forward to and they have plenty of time to have sex but as I said before hormones hormones and yes I do understand it not that I agree with it but it’s gonna happen if it’s gonna happen it’s gonna happen!!!!!

A decent age to have a boyfriend that you can hang out with and typically technically call your boyfriend? For me although I don’t like putting a number on it and I still kind of think that 16 is a bit young I would say on average 16 would be an acceptable age to have the boyfriend or girlfriend.

What do you think would be a good age? What do you think would be a good determination on whether or not your teenager should even have a boyfriend or girlfriend?

What we need to do as parents is be parents 1st -friends 2nd and make sure that we know their whereabouts and we know who they’re hanging out with what they’re doing .we have to build that trust. We have to build a strong independent honest loyal good child and all the rest will follow in its place. We have to teach them to make wise choices.

Did I mention communication???

I don’t know if I could win mother of the year but I’m trying just as hard as the next mom is trying to keep her child safe ,loved and protected.
I feel very alone in this I don’t know many teenage moms and I would love to hear your opinions and what you think .
Should and being the right time for a teenager to begin dating.

Long Distance love

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Does this exist? Is it possible to a relationship with someone who lives in another state? What about overseas in another country?

I’m sure it’s possible but is it something that you really would put your heart into?

Being with someone in a long distance relationship involves a lot of planning, a lot of your time spent devoted to paperwork and traveling and also a lot of money.

Eventually you will have to come to some common ground on where you want to reside to eventually be together. Because that’s the over all goal at a relationship, right? To grow old together. Maybe even marry and have a child? That’s not everyone’s goal and if it’s not that’s OK.

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If you’re devoted and this is what you want to do by all means don’t listen to anyone in the world. People always have their 2 cents to put in!

My mother would say ” Amores de lejos es amores de pendejos” Which basically means if you have a long distance relationship you’re an idiot.

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But if you really love that person especially nowadays with Skype and so much technology to keep in touch and see to other you could have that relationship that you want with anyone in any part of the world.
Out of sight out of mind? All that’s another thing to put in to consideration.

A lot of people these days are finding love in places all around the world. When you find love no matter where it is no matter what color the matter what height no matter the finances I think that love is a rare find.
I’m sure that natural normal loving jealous tick can Come and go. It’s a natural human feeling to be delis. But when your love is a way it’s hard not to be jealous or not to think that something can possibly in that small percentage of a possibly can actually be going on.
The bottom line of any relationship is trust without trust you don’t have anything.
Are any of you in long distance relationships? Have you been in Long distance relationships ?
If you have I would love to hear your story .
How did it Turn out? how did you make it work?
Was it worth it? Would you advise someone to go for it?
I Believe that if you love someone you should go for it!!!

The Savage Senseless Murder of 15 Year Old Lesandro Guzman Feliz- Junior

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This is Unimaginable heartbreak.

More than all too often we hear about senseless crimes in our New York City streets.

The despair of mothers losing their children has become sadly common in this unfortunate sleepless city.
Gangs,Petty fights, among other crimes lead to Innocent bystanders becoming victims of violence.

How many times has a stray bullet killed an innocent person?…a child?

I’m sure by now everyone knows the Story of Lesandro Guzman Feliz. Everyone knew him as Junior.

An innocent beautiful child who was brutally murdered for no reason and taken away from his Mother before his time.

This summer 15 year old Junior, who normally was at home enjoying family company and playing video Games decided to meet a Friend on a warm summer night just like any other teenager.

His mom was very protective of Junior she wanted him home right away. He told her not to worry and that he would be right back. He told her he would be in the area and won’t be long

Never could anyone fathom what would become of a simple walk in his own neighborhood.

A friend he usually hung out with asked him for some money for food. His mother gave Junior $5 to go downstairs and give to the boy for food. Junior met with his friend and like any other 15 year old he wanted just to hang out and talk for a Bit.

On the that night a parent’s worst nightmare occurred.Junior was chased by gang members who suspected he was in a rival gang. These gang members chased him for blocks on end. Junior ran inside a well known Bodega that he had frequented since he was a little boy with his Mother.

He ran Inside and desperately hopped over the counter in order to hide from his attackers.In an instant reaction the store owner at 1st pushed him away. According to all of the camera footage it appears that Junior hid for only a second till the gang members entered the store and found him. They argued inside the store for a few brief seconds and then the unimaginable happened.

What I’m about to explain to you right now will not be very detailed at all. This heinous act was all caught on video. I would not recommend for anyone to watch this because it’s so disturbing. Unfortunately a coworker Showed this to me and I was unable to ever get this out of my head.

The gang members dragged Junior outside the store, Junior desperately trying to cling on to whatever he could to not be dragged out. Dragged outside, where he was then attacked by at least 7 other gang members with knives and machetes. The gang members attacked him viciously with these weapons repeatedly.
He was then sliced in his throat and pushed Back inside of the Bodega on a 183rd street and Bathgate Avenue in The Bronx.

Junior, in the store obvious desperation for help. His blood from his wounds from all over his body on to the bodega counter.The store owner And the store employees then pointed outside the door. Later on they said they were pointing towards the hospital. But no one accompanied Junior to the hospital that was a block away? The store employees allowed Junior to leave alone, they actually instructed him, a 15 year old child to go.

Debates on whether or not the store owner even called 911 are still unknown.

This is all on the video. Junior is shown running across the street after he is brutally attacked, up the block towards the hospital where he reaches the front of hospital and collapses.

Oddly enough,as he crosses third Avenue, an ambulance is waiting at the light as he passes in front of them.
He passed away in the hospital.

It was later discovered that he was senselessly murdered in a case of mistaken identity.

The violence in New York City is completely out of hand. Politicians are not doing anything to get gang members of the streets or to create safe havens for the youth.
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I did not know Junior nor his family, however his story has stuck with me and repeated in my head so many times. This is so sad especially being that I grew up in that area and I know all too well what the violence there is like.

I think now in this day and age it has gotten even worse.

All of the 14 adult Suspects who were involved in Juniors murder have been arrested and are awaiting trial.
His mother is so soft spoken and strong, my heart goes out to her.
I really hope that there is Justice for Junior.

Junior was a great student and a member of the NYPD police cadets for the youth. He wanted to be a detective when he grew up.He was never in a gang of any sort. This was complete mistaken identity.

I don’t usually write about current events although I do love writing about everything and anything but this story just touched me so much and I’m sure it’s touched hundreds of thousands of people not only in the community but across the World.

Lesandro Would have turned 16 on November 11th 2018.

Hopefully safe havens are created where children in these neighborhoods can go to to spend time and be mentored.downloadfile

#Myblessedlife- THE FAKE FACEBOOK LIFE

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We see this all the time pictures of people that are posting up their vacations, their new cars, Posting pictures of them every single place that they go with a smile. And they take a lot of pictures while you’re out having a great time with your friends and your family your stopping every every couple of minutes ,you’re taking pictures right then and there and you’re putting them on social media.

Just explain to me how exactly you’re enjoying the The moment that you are in?
I have a friend that takes pictures of the meal she’s about to eat, of us when we sit down to eat it ,of us when we were walking to where we have to go .In an hour of being with her she must have taken at least 10 pictures and posted them on her social media page. In the middle of each conversation we were having it was kind of annoying for her to say ” wait..hold on let me get a pic really quick”. And even though I did have a nice time with her it took away from well basically anything we’re talking .

I understand Facebook is great for sharing your activities with your friends and family who are also with you and those who are far away anyone a way to communicate with them all the time …I get it. Then you have the show offs. Do I really need to know the you have a 6 bedroom house? And when you’re posting these pictures on Facebook while you are in Italy do I really need to know? Not that I’m gonna go breaking into your house ..but may be somebody else will?
I see hashtags#Ilovemylife#I am blessed#thisisthelife. If you love your life so much why do you need to remind yourself and remind everyone around you? I mean, It’s kind of silly don’t you think? To me when I see people doing this it’s almost like they’re showing off to somebody and they want to send a message to somebody that may be they let go in the past or they want to send the message to somebody to let them know how wonderful and successful they are now and they’re reading all of this nonsense.

Another thing I see a lot of on social media are relationships that are Like snow white and Prince charming on Facebook. I see these couples kissing, holding hands, traveling, celebrating anniversaries, going out to dinner, but the reality of a lot of these cases are not what they appear to be. For instance I have this one friend who completely hates her husband and she is constantly calling and texting me telling me all of his faults and she tells this to other people as well but on Facebook they are the happiest couple ever. She’s in the process of talking to a divorce lawyer but on social media she writes things like how much she loves him and how people thought they will never stay together this long… She’s even talked to me about moving to another country to get away from him so why put up a persona of something that you’re not?
I’m not saying that everyone on social media does this but the fact that people are doing this and we know what’s really going on it’s a bit disturbing makes me wonder how real that person is and makes me really think about why on Earth are they being so fake? If you want people to think that your life is absolutely superb and wonderful then just stay off of social media and let people wonder don’t write a bunch of lies and bull shit on there because it makes you look really silly when there are people out there who know the real you.

Another woman on social media puts pictures of her and her family under vacations. It’s great that she’s on vacation But when her house is broken into my summer and investigation determined add it was Facebook related.
It’s almost like a popularity contest in high school to see who has the most friends and who goes the most places and who has more and  travels and whose life is better whose life is more blessed.

I’m very private on social media and I don’t put those things up.. I do put a couple of things here and there but I like keeping to myself.  I don’t put every sum of things I do on social media.
Social media is a wonderful amazing thing to utilize its just funny to see The purpose that some people use it for

Why do you know this this about the fakeness on social media?

 

CONTROLLING MOTHERS

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Overbearing mothers ,a blessing and a curse. You love them and appreciate them but sometimes they have no sense of boundries.
You Try to make them Happy with everything you do. Everything you have done. Every move you have made in your existence was to make them happy. Yet, Still they’re never satisfied. It’s because they can never be, never will be satisfied with anything that you do.

My mother was so overbearing and protective, So over protective that she  Did not allow me- a college graduate to leave the house until I was married.

And I really wanted to leave that house so of course, I was in love what do I do?

It’s completely sad how a mother can dictate a child’s life even as an adult. It’s a not so rare form of mental abuse that exists in so many more people then admitted. Abused as children abused as Adults when does this abuse end?

Is your mother overbearing? Is that a form of abuse? Is it OK for her to tell you how to raise your children? Is it OK for her to tell you to come on by 10:00 p.m. when you 25? Is it OK for her to choose your career in your life? what you gonna do? what path you’re gonna live? Who you gonna love?

Is this not abuse? There’s A-line that a mother should not cross. A mother will always be a mother, a mother will always see her babies as her babies.

But these children do grow up and fall in love have families of their own and this overbearing mother can contribute and be part of the family but when it gets to the point that she’s dictating your life when you’ve already established your own life there’s a huge problem.

It’s an abuse it’s not knowing when to stop. And of course we love our parents unconditionally no matter what kind of crazy shit they have put us through. We all want our mommies and our daddy’s, we wanna be loved and there are times yes we want to be children again.

What if your mother had the keys to your house and she can come in whenever she feels that she wants to? However, you have given her these keys to come to your house if there is an emergency or you need help with something. These emergency set of keys isnot for your mother to come in walking to your house whenever she pleases. What if you are their intimate with someone? what if you’re walking around naked? What if you just wanna be alone and you don’t want her to do this? Is it wrong?

It’s your mother being overbearing and it’s your mother letting you know that she still has control over your life as an adult. Your babies will always be your babies but you have to let your babies make decisions and grow and you have to learn to give them space. If not they’re gonna grow up and resent you for it in find a place to vent where the world can possibly listen

DATING AFTER 40

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Which one of you has not made any Mistakes in the last Decade?
Perhaps you married your mistake and then years down-the-line realized that it was a major regret?

Some people arent even married a year ,ready to Call it quits.
Time goes by the days the years and before you know it…. you’re 40 your single… and back available on the dating scene.

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All the jokes you told in your 20’s about 40 year olds and their cats being home alone on Friday nights are looking all too realistic right now.

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If you have children they’re getting older they’re hanging out with their friends and doing their own thing.
If you have friends some of them are married some of them are divorced and the rare wonderful fun few are single and you see how they’re living their lives and having a great time . Going out and having fun .THAT becomes a little harder when you are a single parent but it is possible with the right preparation , The spontaneous impulses can’t really be there.

Is it really that bad starting fresh and dating at 40?

There’s plenty of people after 40 years old who are newly dating. AND probly having the most fun may have in years by doing so!

I give credit to those of you who stuck through their marriages through hard times and bad,the cheating ,whatever it was that made it work. Some marriages are strong and there some people who just stay for the kids or stay because they want to prove they can say with somebody for 20 plus years. Then there are the people who are actually happy in the marriages and much kudos to you guys!!!

40 is the new 30, it’s not like what it used to be in the 80’s when you were 40 ,you were going on 65 years old.

Everything’s done online the dating sites- meeting people , which for me can make it a bit challenging because I like their face-to-face contact but we’re living in a new era ,a new world.

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At 40 people are ” supposedly” more mature and they have a good idea about how they want to live their lives what they want to do and who they are.
Dating after 40 can be an adventure, go for it!!!

And let us know if you are dating and can make any dating site recommendations.

I’d love to hear your experience of dating after 40!

The Absence of Love

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Everyone has been hurt by a love. It Doesn’t matter how beautiful you are inside or out. It doesn’t matter how much you have done for that person. Some people hurt others in loving relationships maliciously while others hurt because that’s all they know and it comes as 2nd nature.

Can someone who has been hurt ever be the same when it comes to loving again?
What if that same person who has been hurt by a love also grew up hurt by their parents.
It’s a psychological spiral and trying to figure out where we go wrong in love and a what point of our Childhoods where we affected in order to love the way we love as adults?
What if we never felt Loved as a child ? What if we felt that our parents never loved Us?
What if we grew up in a household with no affection never a hug never positive encouragement?
What if we grew up with the absence of love?

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Is it possible as adults to learn to love without ever experiencing it as a child?
Whatever it was whatever way I grew up all I know is that I hug my children everyday And I tell them that I love them. It’s an automatic as soon as they come home from school as soon as they leave to school we tell each other we love each other we hug and that is a second nature.
We hug when we watch movies we hug when good things happen we hug when badd things happen. We show affection we express ourselves and our little family we feel love.
I have an unconditional undying love for my children and right now I feel as though this is the only love I need in my life.
Although there are other people in my life that I do love I feel as though I’m very protective of myself and perhaps it is the way I grew up.
I don’t wanna be hurt by love. And I don’t wanna hurt anyone return.
I don’t know exactly what will happen in a few years regarding my feelings towards love.
I know that I’m capable of itJust like many other people out there are capable of it and may be afraid of it?
We all have the love of God and his angels protecting us at all times. I am a strong believer in a higher power.
I do know I don’t wanna be in the absence of love
After all isn’t this what everyone is looking for?