adult alone anxious black and white
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Overbearing mothers ,a blessing and a curse. You love them and appreciate them but sometimes they have no sense of boundries.
You Try to make them Happy with everything you do. Everything you have done. Every move you have made in your existence was to make them happy. Yet, Still they’re never satisfied. It’s because they can never be, never will be satisfied with anything that you do.

My mother was so overbearing and protective, So over protective that she  Did not allow me- a college graduate to leave the house until I was married.

And I really wanted to leave that house so of course, I was in love what do I do?

It’s completely sad how a mother can dictate a child’s life even as an adult. It’s a not so rare form of mental abuse that exists in so many more people then admitted. Abused as children abused as Adults when does this abuse end?

Is your mother overbearing? Is that a form of abuse? Is it OK for her to tell you how to raise your children? Is it OK for her to tell you to come on by 10:00 p.m. when you 25? Is it OK for her to choose your career in your life? what you gonna do? what path you’re gonna live? Who you gonna love?

Is this not abuse? There’s A-line that a mother should not cross. A mother will always be a mother, a mother will always see her babies as her babies.

But these children do grow up and fall in love have families of their own and this overbearing mother can contribute and be part of the family but when it gets to the point that she’s dictating your life when you’ve already established your own life there’s a huge problem.

It’s an abuse it’s not knowing when to stop. And of course we love our parents unconditionally no matter what kind of crazy shit they have put us through. We all want our mommies and our daddy’s, we wanna be loved and there are times yes we want to be children again.

What if your mother had the keys to your house and she can come in whenever she feels that she wants to? However, you have given her these keys to come to your house if there is an emergency or you need help with something. These emergency set of keys isnot for your mother to come in walking to your house whenever she pleases. What if you are their intimate with someone? what if you’re walking around naked? What if you just wanna be alone and you don’t want her to do this? Is it wrong?

It’s your mother being overbearing and it’s your mother letting you know that she still has control over your life as an adult. Your babies will always be your babies but you have to let your babies make decisions and grow and you have to learn to give them space. If not they’re gonna grow up and resent you for it in find a place to vent where the world can possibly listen


  1. I know it is very difficult to take control when you feel controlled and have all of your life, but it can be done. With support and the help of a therapist, it can!


    1. Yes Alvern Bullard, Communication is always the key. Some mothers though, especially at a certain age will not change. So the sooner you start communicating the better!


  2. While there are many that would say that there is no excuse for any mother to behave in such a way, there are probably some examples where it occurs where the mother is suffering from a mental health condition. I know of one such case which included the onset of dementia and it is hard to manage – but in many cases she is not in full control of her thinking. It still doesn’t make it easy for her daughter though.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nicole Anderson
      You have bought up a very valid point. Mental illness is hard to manage on either end. It’s so serious and not emphasized enough in many cases.
      Where there is mental illness, there is always confusion.
      In some cases, it’s just the mothers character
      Thanks so much for your comment Nicole, very interesting to think of!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Some mothers just try their best and that is all we can hope to do ourselves at the end of the day. I know I had a hard upbringing and always thought “I’m learning what not to do as a parent”. Now I hope my best is good enough for my kids because growing up and being resentful is hard and I wouldn’t wish it upon my own.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thanks for sharing.You are brave to express yourself so deeply. It’s important to do so to work through the pain. By letting the pain and resentment go you can develop a peaceful relationship with your mother.


    1. Writing is therapeutic. We all love our mothers. Realizing and accepting their mistakes is part of the healing process..thank you for your kind words Leslie. Very deep of you as well


  5. I am a mother of two boys. I Love them to death, as all mom should love their children. Even though right now my boys are taller than me, I still see them as my little boys. What age is the appropriate age to start setting boundaries and realize that they are grown up? Although there’s a million books written about the topic, Its a hard topic bc it’s hard to let go. If anything happens to them, we will feel responsible. Why did I let them go out thought reply your head over and over. I do think Rose, that as parents sometimes we need a life of our own and if we don’t have nothing going on we focus on our true love, our kids. Let match your mom On tender or something. She definitely needs something to do.


    1. Hello and thank you for your warm response! Yes, you are so right as parents needing to have a life of their own!! Hobbies,art,writing..friends,travel to have a certain relaxation. And yes it would be nice if I had a step dad!


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